| I told my boss I needed a pay rise; and I further reiterated that 3 other companies were after me. He asked, "Which ones?" I replied: The electricity, gas and the water! |
| On my tombstone, I want it written: In the end there was no key to life, just this box! |
| Jokes about unemployed people aren't funny. They just don't work! |
| Problems are like washing machines. They twist us, spin us, & knock us around, but in the end we always come out cleaner, brighter & better! |
| If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money! |
| Even when bad things happen you have to try to use those bad things in a positive manner and really just take the positive out of it. Good Morning and have a great day! |
| There should be a calorie refund for things that didn't taste as good as you expected! |
| Bunty: If Colgate kills 99.9% of germs... what does Colgate Sensitive do? Pappu: It kills 99.9% of germs without hurting their feelings! |
| You only need to find yourself, everything else can be googled! |
| It's your reality. Everyone else is a guest! |
