| My wife & I have some serious communication issues. But good that we never talk about it! |
| What all these years of marriage taught me is that when your wife says `We need to talk`, you never get the opportunity to talk! |
| Wife: I'm a confident driver. Husband: Eh? You hit a pedestrian today. Wife: Yes, but confidently! |
| Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed and clean the whole house while she sleeps! |
| Whenever my wife gets upset with me, I ensure to impress her later by displaying my hidden talents like mopping the floor, washing utensils, ironing clothes, etc! |
| My wife just asked "What are your plans for the weekend?" as if she hasn't already planned it already! |
| Do you know that look women get on their faces when they find you attractive? Yeah, me neither! |
| All these years of marriage trained me to find only the angry women to be attractive! |
| My wife should be thankful to me for teaching her all the aspects of male stupidity! |
| I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's. She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me! |
