Marriage is nature's way of stopping people from fighting with strangers.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
My wife's a water sign. I'm an earth sign. Together we make mud.
We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.
An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt.
I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.