'Old' is when...

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    ...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

    ...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

    ...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

    ...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

    ...you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

    ...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

    ...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

    ..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

    ..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

    ... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!
  • Can I Get Pregnant? A little girl was asking her teacher.
    Girl: Can my mom get pregnant?
    Teacher: How old is your mom?
    Girl: She is....
  • Tampering with Evidence A married lawyer was having fun with a prostitute in his car.

    On getting home, his wife saw panties on the back seat. She tore it apart screaming, "John!!!! What is this?...
  • Bachelor Party Bob`s father and friends were throwing him the best bachelor party ever. There were hookers and strippers, tons of food, and best of all, some great porno flicks. Feeling the beer...
  • Self Examination For Alzeimer's It takes less than 15 seconds. If you are nearing 40 yrs... you SHOULD take this Alzheimer`s Test. How fast can you guess these words correctly and fill-in the blanks...
  • What Men & Women Really Mean When They Say... What women say and what they really mean
    1. Yes = No!
    2. No = Yes!
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need...
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