Clean Jokes


Trouble's Coming

A man sits down on a bar stool and tells the bartender, "Pour me a drink before the trouble starts."
The bartender looks puzzled, but pours him a drink. The man chugs it and says, "Pour me another drink...

Mistaken Identity

An extremely drunk man walks into a bar. He looks around for a while and, after staring at the only woman seated at the bar for some time, stumbles over to her and kisses her full on the lips. Shocked and outraged...

Alcohol Overdose

Two buddies, Ralph and Rob, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Rob throws up all over himself. "Oh, no. Now Jane will kill me!"
Ralph says, "Don`t worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your...

Multiple Entrances

There is this corner bar that has three entrances, one on each street, and one on the corner. A drunk walks into one entrance, and bartender refuses to serve him, telling him he is too drunk. So, the drunk leaves...

The Less You Drink...

A bloke went into a pub, sat down at the bar and ordered five pots. The barman wondered since he was alone, but served up the five pots. And the bloke downed them all... one, two, three, four, five...

The Buffalo Theory of Beer

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here`s how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it`s like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest...

Witch Doctor's Powers

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots."
Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?"
The guy says," Oh, I want them both now...

Magic Window

Two guys are sitting at a bar. "You know why I love this bar?" asks the first one.
"No," says the second guy. "Why do you love this bar?"
The first guy points at the window, which is six stories...

Hard and Difficult Words

Thank you, but I won`t make any attempt to dance. I have no coordination and would hate to look like a real Fool!
Oh no, I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning...

Pour Me A Drink

A man sits down on a bar stool and tells the bartender, "Pour me a drink before the trouble starts."
The bartender looks puzzled, but pours him a drink. The man chugs it and says, "Pour me another drink...