| A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Banta pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time." A week later, Banta, along with his friend Santa, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, Santa said to Banta, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex at all." Banta replied, "No it's genuine enough Mick. My wife won twice last week." |
| Bill: Why are you so tense? Jack: Just fought with my wife. That woman just fights for no reason at all. Bill: Why what happened? Jack: We both were excited and about to start having sex ... she removed her Top and jeans .... I just asked why are you wearing your sister's Underwear......!!! |
| Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like." |
| A man caught a goldfish and as always... "Let me go and I will grant you a wish" said the goldfish. "But I don't need anything. I have a house, a summer house by the sea, cars, a cottage in the mountains, a yacht, more than enough money..... I only fish for pleasure" he says. "Come on, please, let me go, I'll fulfill any wish". "Well, ok" says the guy "From now on I wish that my dear wife and I always have an orgasm together" and releases the fish. "Voila, granted" says the little fish. The man picked up his fishing equipment, put it in the car and happily drove home.... On the way home he came twice. |