| Geraldine Aunty took her new daughter-in-law to buy a pair of sandals from the Mapusa Market. The shopkeeper first cleaned her feet with sanitizer. Then washed it with soap, wiped with towel, then gave her sandals to try out. They selected a pair, paid and started to leave. The shop keeper, asked her, "Do you need anything else?" Aunty said, "She wanted to buy bra's and some panties, but after seeing your service, I have changed my mind." |
| One day, the vagina escaped from her normal location address and decided to take a walk around the whole body. She first came across the kidneys and asked, "Who are you?" The kidney answered, "I am the kidney. I remove waste products from the blood and regulate the water fluid level." "I salute you," she said and moved forward. She moved on and came across the liver and asked, "Who are you?" The liver replied, "I am the Liver. I detoxify chemicals and metabolise drugs and make proteins important for blood clotting." "I salute you," she said and then moved on and finally came across the heart. She asked the same question, "Who are you?" The heart replied, "I am the Heart." The vagina then screamed, "Ahaaaa! You are the bastard that I have been looking for." The heart was amazed and asked, "But why are you so mad at me"" The vagina replied, "You are the one that goes around apparently falling in love with men. And each time you fall in love, I am the one that gets fucked!!!" |
| Banta was visiting the UK for the first time, and had boarded a train from Paddington and was on his way to Cardiff to visit his sister and her family. In the train, sitting across from him, this rather stoic and proper looking Englishman in a pin-striped suit was engrossed in reading the morning's paper. As the train rolled on, Banta was soon bored. Wanting to strike up a conversation he leaned over and asked the Englishman, "Excuse me Sir, what is your name?" Not very happy at this development, the Englishman nevertheless obliged and said, "John Smith. And what is your name Sir?" Banta replied, "Banta. And where are you from Mr. Smith?" "From Lancashire," And you Mr. Banta? Making every effort to keep up with Mr. Smith, Banta replied, "From Mohalishire!" This confused the hell out of Mr. Smith. He knew of Bedfordshire, Berkshire, Lincolnshire, Worcestershire; but Mohalishire??? Eyebrows raised, he asked Banta, "And on what "longitude and latitude" would Mohalishire be Sir?" Now it was Banta's turn to look all confused. But not willing to show his ignorance, and not knowing the meaning of these words, he replied in his new found accent, "Sir, You see, in Mohalishire we don't use Latitude and Longitude we have the more advanced geographical coordinates "Bhenkitude" & "Maakitude". Mr. Smith is still searching the dictionary for those words!!! |
| A father shows up at his daughter's home and finds his son-in-law angrily packing his bags. "What's wrong?" he asks. "I texted her that I was coming home today from my golfing trip. And what did I find when I walked through the door? Her making out with Joe Murphy! I'm leaving!" "Now, calm down," says his father-in-law. "There must be a simple explanation. I'll find out what happened." Moments later, he reappears. "I told you there was a simple explanation, and there is," he says. "She never got your text." |