| A Kentucky man went to see the local doctor and complained because his wife was having too many little bastards; she was having at least one per year. He said, "Doc, ya gotta help me, I can't gets enough welfare or steal enough to feeds em all." The doctor got down his medical reference book and looked up the problem. He told his patient the book said if a man's bitch was having too many brats, he should remove the man's right testicle. He then administered anesthesia with a beer bottle and took out his pocket knife and performed the surgery. Three years later the man was back at the doctor's office complaining the surgery had failed; she was still having at least one per year. The wise doctor took his book back down and studied the problem. The doctor said, "Well, the book says if your wife is having too many brats to remove your right testicle, we've done that. If she still has too many brats, then we should remove the left testicle." Once again he got his beer bottle and his pocket knife and performed surgery. Three years later, the same man was back complaining the surgery had once again failed. The doctor was quite perplexed and got his book back down. After several minutes of study he told his patient, "It says here if a man's wife is having too many brats to remove his right testicle. If she continues to have too many brats, remove his left testicle. We've done all that. The next page says if the man's wife still has too many brats after you have removed both testicles, you've done castrated the wrong man!" |
| A cowboy, from East Texas, who shall remain nameless, walked into a hotel barber shop, sat down in the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face and was sharpening a wicked looking, shiney old straight edge razor, when a woman appeared out of a back room, sat down on a short stool and began to shine his shoes. Well this blonde gal had the biggest, firmest, most beautiful Dolly Parton breasts that the cowboy had ever seen. The cowpoke said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some quality time up in my hotel room." She giggled and replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that." The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll more than make it worth you time." She said, "You tell him. He is the guy with the razor that's shaving you." |
| Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch cock, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown." The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20″ cock, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy sighs and says: "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, Turn around!" |
| The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something." "Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl. Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?" "Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?" "Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed." |