| A man and his girlfriend were driving across the desert when they had a flat tire. As he got out, the boyfriend spotted a cowboy nearby, sitting on his horse, rolling a smoke. He told his girlfriend, "Watch me make that cowboy change my tire!" He got out and ordered, "Hey, you! Get off that horse and change my tire." The cowboy lit his cigarette and ignored him. "Hey! I told you to change my tire. If you don't, I'll kick your a$$!" The cowboy glanced up and said softly, "Tell you what, feller. First, I'm going to finish my smoke. Then I'm going to get down off this horse, kick your a$$, and make you change your own tire while I play with your girlfriend. And when you're done, I'm gonna make you hold my balls up out of this hot sand while I do it to her." Later, driving away, the girlfriend said, "That cowboy was pretty tough, wasn't he, baby?" The boyfriend replied, "Naw, he wasn't that tough. Did you see him flinch whenever I dropped his balls in the sand?" |
| A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems. A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client $100. She went back and informed the client at which he cried, "That's too much!" He then asked, "How much for a hand-job?" She asked him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband said, "Ask for $40." The woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman noticed that the man was well hung. She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again at which her husband asked, "Now what?" The wife replied, "Can I borrow $60?" |
| A gent from Keokuk, Iowa was visiting Atlantic City on a convention for the first time and ran into one of the hookers while walking the boardwalk. When she offered a fun time he responded, "How much?" And she replied, "Twenty bucks." He said, thinking it was a good deal, "OK" and followed her down under,the boardwalk, and had his way with her. The next night, he's out looking for the same hooker, finds her and they once again go under the boardwalk, only this time while he's banging her, she blasts two incredible hugh farts. When they're done, he hands her $25. The woman says, "Why the extra five?" He happily tells her, "That's for blowing the sand off my ass !" |
| Pedro was sexually a very experienced man when he got married to Maria, but she was totally naive. On their wedding night, when Pedro removed his clothes, Maria asked, "Pedro! What is that?" Pedro, a quick thinker, said, "Maria, I am the only man in the world with one of these." And then he proudly proceeded to demonstrate to her what it was for. Maria was pleased. After their honeymoon was over, Pedro returned to work. On returning home in the evening after his first day at work post honeymoon, Pedro found a very upset Maria waiting on their front porch. "Pedro, you said you were the only man in the world with one of those and yet today, when I saw Gonzalez changing his clothes behind the shed, he had one, too!" Ever a fast thinker on his feet, Pedro said, "Oh, Maria, Gonzalez is my best friend. Since I had two, I gave him one. So he is the only other man in the world with one." A skeptical Maria accepted this answer, but when Pedro returned home from work the following evening, an agitated Maria was waiting on the porch. "Maria? Now what's wrong???" "Damn it, Pedro! You gave the better one to Gonzalez!" |