| A dumb guy finds one dollar in his couch at home. He really needs to have sex, so he goes to the local brothel and tells the lady at the desk, "Give me your best whore!" She yells upstairs, "Harry, grease up Sally!" and says, "That'll be five hundred dollars, please." The man says, "Oh, I don't have that much." The woman says, "Okay, then, Harry grease up Monica! That'll be two hundred dollars, please." The guy says, "I don't have that much." So the woman yells upstairs, "Harry, grease up Katrina! That'll be fifty dollars, please." The guy says, "Oh, I don't have that much." So the woman says, "Well, how much do you have?" He says, "One dollar." So she yells upstairs "Harry, grease up a glove!" |
| Joel Garner, Cricket legendary fast bowler from West Indies, is 6 feet 8 inches tall. In his playing years, his height was a big attraction. Once at a dinner in Australia, he was approached by two ladies, who asked, "You are so tall, with long arms and limbs. We are dying to know whether everything else is in proportion to your height." Sportingly, Garner replied, "If I were built in proportion, I would be 9 feet tall." |
| A guy walks up to the 'Visa on arrival' counter at the Bangkok International Airport and presents two Indian passports with 3000 baht cash and says, "Two visas. For me and my wife. Here are the passports and cash." The officer at the counter says, "Extra 2000 Baht please." The man asks him, "Why extra 2000 Baht?" Says the officer, "Corkage Sir." The man, irked a little, asks back, "What corkage ? I'm not in a pub and not bringing my own whiskey!" The officer politely replies, "This is Thailand Sir, and we charge corkage for bringing your own wife to Thailand." |
| A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer living just outside Cornerbrook, Newfoundland, to find the main cause of the Mad Cow Disease. The Lady: Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease? The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year? The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed): Well, sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease? The Farmer: And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day? The reporter: Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point? The Farmer: I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad? |