| A stewardess did her usual act of showing passengers the safety drill. Near the end she said, "And in the event of an emergency, bend forward and put your head between your legs." Eunice said to her boy friend Jeff, "I can't bend that far these days!" Jeff replied with a smile, "Well then, you'll just have to put your head between my legs." Eunice looked wide-eyed at her boy friend, and asked, "If my head were between your legs, where could you put your head?" "My love," replied Jeff, "if you've got your head between my legs, I won't give a damn where my head is!" |
| "Y'all got any american razor blades in here?" The Texan asked the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinson." "Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been producing the finest surgical instruments, weapons and razors since before Waterloo." "I don't give a damn if they passed them out on Noah's ark if they ain't any good," the Texan retorted. "I can assure you they are very good sir," the peeved druggist said. "Why just last year, my wife swallowed one. It gave her a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, circumcised the gardener, emasculated a neighbor, cut two of a delivery boy's fingers off at the knuckle... and I still got 10 shaves out of it." |
| There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief resident is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees as patient masturbating in his room. "What condition does he have?" the student asks. "He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder", the resident replies. "If he doesn't ejaculate 40-50 times a day, he'll become disoriented." As the two continue their rounds, the student peeks into another room and sees a patient with his pants around ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse. "What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?" "Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a better health plan." |
| Two fellows from the deep South were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and have sex with your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?" The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about that, but it sure would make us even." |