| A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, "Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good." The next day when they come home his wife asks, "How was your day?" The man says, "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!" The third day they meet at home after work and now the man asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, honey?" She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!" |
| A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls wanted to provide the service for him, so finally they drew lots and Julie was the unlucky one. So they went up to the room. A minute later, there was a loud scream. The madam and all the girls charged up the staircase and into the room. Julie lay on the floor in a dead faint. Standing next to the bed was the midget, nude, and with a two foot penis hanging down and touching the floor. The girls were awe struck by the sight. Finally, one of the girls says," sir, would you mind if I felt it? I've never seen anything like that before." The midget replies, "Okay, honey. But only touching. No sucking. I used to be seven feet six inches tall!" |
| This truck driver is cruising down this dusty ass country road, when out runs this rooster and he runs it over, killing it. He stops, and walks up to the farm, and knocks
on the door. Out steps this knock down gorgeous young woman, "What do you want," the girl says. "I'm sorry miss, but I believe I ran over your rooster and killed it," the trucker said. "Oh, I guess I'll have to get a new one." "Miss I am more than willing to replace it," replied the trucker. The farmers daughter looks hm up and down and says, "Drop your pants big boy." The trucker is confused but complies, and shows off his little friend. "I guess you'll do, the chickens are out back." |
| Mrs. Johnson the elementary school math teacher was having children do problems on the blackboard that day. "Who would like to do the first problem, addition?" No one raised their hand. She called on Tommy, and with some help he finally got it right. "Who would like to do the second problem, subtraction?" Students hid their faces. She called on Mark, who got the problem but there was some suspicion his girlfriend Lisa whispered it to him. "Who would like to do the third problem, division?" Now a low collective groan could be heard as everyone looked at nothing in particular. The teacher called on Suzy, who got it right. "Who would like to do the last problem, multiplication?" Johnny's hand shot up, surprising everyone in the room. Mrs. Johnson finally gained her composure in the stunned silence. "Why the enthusiasm, Johnny?" "The Bible says to 'Go Forth and Multiply'!" |