| A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. She gets into the chair and tells the tattoo artist, "I want two tattoos, one on each of my inner thighs. I want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other." The tattoo artist begins his work, but is a bit confused, so he says, "Lady, I'll do anything my customers want, but I gotta ask, why would you want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other?" "Well, if you really want to know," she firmly answers, "I'm sick and tired of my husband telling me that there's never anything good to eat between the holidays." |
| Joe's wife was sick. Very sick. None of the doctors could figure out what was wrong with her. He was about to go into her room and visit her when her doctor approached him. The doctor said, "These might be her last few days, so you should do whatever she asks of you, so that she may die happy." Well... Joe thought this over and decided that that was a great idea. He went in and they talked for about 3 hours. After awhile he asked her if there was anything that he could do for her. She thought for a little bit and said, "Make love to me. Eat my pussy.... Fuck me like you never have before..." He thought this was a little much in her condition, but since It might be one of the last times he sees her he decided to comply. The next day he came in, and her doctor said that she was much better, and he should do whatever he did yesterday. Well.. he walked in and they talked, and she requested they make passionate love again, and again he complied. After about 5 days of this she had fully recovered, and was able to go home. She walked into the living room to find that Joe was crying. She said, "What's the matter? I'm fine now. You have nothing to worry about." He replied, "I know, but all this time I can't stop thinking that I should have saved your sister." |
| A hippy walks into a Bar and Grill. The waiter comes up to him and asks him if he wants anything. So the hippy says, "Yeah, a cheeseburger. Not too well done, not to rare, but right in the groove." So the waiter brings his burger and asks if he wants anything to drink. He says, "A cup of tea. Not too hot, not too cold, but right in the groove." The waiter is getting pissed now, but he brings the tea and slams it on the table. Little while later the waiter comes back and asks the Hippy if he wants any dessert. The hippy says, "Yeah some ice cream. Not too chocolate, not too vanilla, but right in the Groove." The waiter replies, "Why don't you kiss my arse. Not the right cheek, not the left cheek, but right in the groove! |
| 119 People Quarantined In A Brothel In Spain. Of all the places to be quarantined, a brothel in Valencia, Spain, might not be the worst. You've got booze, you've likely got a small buffet of fried foods and you've got entertainment. But in all seriousness, that was exactly the case a day ago when authorities found that a woman working at the "La Selva Negra" brothel had tested positive for coronavirus. The findings forced authorities to quarantine the premises and the 86 customers that were inside. The employee, who is now in the hospital, had "slept with several clients that same night," according to a translated blog post on the story. In addition to the customers, the club's owners, waitresses, security and cleaning crew were also quarantined. When added to the total of 86 customers, it makes 119 people under quarantine. They have been asked to "keep calm" and to just "live a normal life" inside the premises. That may be easier for some of the patrons than they'd like to admit. And for all those guys who told their wives they were going to a wine tasting with their buddies and instead went to the brothel, the news may be worse than coronavirus - you're officially busted. |