| A wife asks her husband, "Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars crumpled up?" She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 buttons of her blouse... and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra... and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill. He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her... and smiled approvingly. "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?" she then asked her husband? "Uh... no, I haven't," he said with an anxious tone in his voice. She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill. He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill... and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation. "Now," she said, "Have you ever seen $50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?" "No way," he said (while obviously becoming even more aroused... and excited). "Well go look in the garage!" |
| A glamorous actress, whose best days were behind her, began finding herself without male companionship several evenings a week. To help pass the time--and perhaps catch a live one -- she decided to attend one of those Hollywood charity meetings. She dozed quietly throughout the opening address, but awoke suddenly to hear the speaker say: "Now let's get out and work like beavers." The actress nudged the person sitting next to her and whispered, "How do beavers work?" The answer from the confused lady on her left was, "I'm not too sure, but I think it's with their tails." The actress jumped to her feet and shouted as loud as she could, "Put me down for three nights a week!" |
| The Russian couple's sex life was terrible, so they were quite excited when Moscow's first sex store opened up across the street. "Olga, why don't you go out and buy some of that feminine deodorant spray I've read about?" said Ivan. She agreed. An hour later, she returned, all excited. "You should see all the flavors they have," she told her husband. "Strawberry, cherry, banana..." "What kind did you get?" he interrupted. "Tuna," she replied. |
| A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn." |