| Two widows, are talking at the Bowling Alley. Martha says, "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date.I know you went out with him last week and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna, "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M. Dressed up like such a gentleman in a fine suit. And he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs and what's there but a beautiful car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... marvelous dinner - lobster. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you, Martha, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL!!! Completely crazy. He tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times! He's a retired Marine!" Martha, "Goodness gracious! So you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him? Edna, "No... I'm just saying, wear an old dress." |
| My maid came to my bathroom door. Just as I came out of an evening shower. My towel slipped a bit.But, I managed to hide my modesty just in time or so I thought. Maid said with a naughty smile: "Kyaa Banana Hai Saab..." I am still wondering if it was a compliment... OR A cooking request? |
| The biology professor was discussing the high glucose level of semen when a blonde co-ed raised her hand. "Are you saying there's a lot of sugar in male semen?" "Correct," responded the professor, adding more statistical material. The same girl raised her hand again, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" The entire class burst out laughing, her face turned bright red, she said not a word, picked up her books, and walked straight out of class never to return. As she left, the professor added with a straight face, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue, not in the back of your throat!" |
| At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be The first nun says, "I want to be Sunny Leone..." and *poof* she's gone. The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone. The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini..." St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asked. "Sara Pipalini," replies the nun. St Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says, "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months." |