| Two whales are swimming in the ocean when they saw a whaling ship in the distance, the male whale realizes that it's the same one that killed his parents so he turns to the female whale and asks if she'll help him get his revenge. She's a little apprehensive but finally agreed, both gone to the either side of the boat and start to blow through their blowholes, rocking the boat until it capsizes. The male whale starts to eat all the sailors when & notices the female whale swimming away. He followed and asked, 'Where are you going?' To which she replied, 'Listen, I agreed to the blow - job, but if you think I'm swallowing any seamen you've got another thing coming!' |
| Marilyn had a parrot for a pet, but the parrot would embarrass her whenever she came into the apartment with a man. He would shout all kinds of obscenities, always leading off with "Somebody's gonna get it tonight!" In desperation, Marilyn went to her local pet shop and explained her parrot problem to the pet shop proprietor. "What you need," he said, "is a female parrot too. I don't have one on hand, but I'll order one. Meanwhile, you could borrow this female owl until the female parrot arrives." Marilyn took the owl home and put it near her parrot. It was immediately obvious that the parrot didn't care for the owl. He glared at it. That night, Marilyn wasn't her usual nervous self as she opened the door to bring her gentlemen friend in for a nightcap. Then suddenly she heard the parrot screech and she knew that things hadn't changed. "Somebody's gonna get it tonight! Somebody's gonna get it tonight!" the parrot said. The owl said, "Whoooo? Whooooo?" "Not you; you oversexed bimbo!" |
| Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse were spending the night in a hotel room. Donald wanted to have sex with Minnie. The first thing Minnie asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Minnie told Donald that if he didn't get a condom they could not have sex. "Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested. So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms. "Yes, we do," the clerk said, and pulled one out from under the counter and gave it to Donald. The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put that on your bill?" "No!" Donald yelled. "What kind of a pervert do you think I am?" |
| One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat having sex with a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse's confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by doing the German Shepherd. The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home and woke up his wife but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket. "Don't be afraid, darling," said the man. "Wait until I tell you about this." "Get out of here!" cried his wife. "And take that sex maniac with you!" |