| Paddy decided to go rabbit hunting, but when he got to his favorite field, he saw the village priest was already there. Paddy watched with fascination as the priest held his finger over the rabbit hole, and immediately a rabbit popped out. The priest grabbed it and put it into a sack. He repeated this unusual but very successful technique until his sack was full of rabbits. Paddy stopped the priest and asked him how he did it. "Easy," said the priest. "Stick your finger in your wife's pussy and wiggle it around a bit. When you hold your finger over a rabbit hole, they can't resist the smell. When they pop their heads out, you grab them." Paddy rushed home to find his wife bent over scrubbing the floor. He lifted up her skirt and applied his finger as directed. Without looking up, Paddy's wife giggled, "Holy Moses, Father! Rabbit hunting again?" |
| A traveling salesman was passing through the country side and stopped at a farm asking for some cool water. The old farmers wife invited him to sit in the shade of the porch with her and got him some cold lemonade. They sat and talked for a while when suddenly a hen went running by with a rooster covered in a pair of coveralls chasing her. The salesman asked, "What in the devil was that?" The old farmers wife told him "Well you see, some years ago we had a tornado come through here and hit the hen house. It killed all our chickens except for that rooster, but it plucked every feather off of him. Well I kind of felt sorry for him, seeing how as he did survive a tornado and I knitted him a pair of coveralls." The salesman said, "Well that is just about the funniest thing I have ever seen." To which the farmers wife replied, "You think that's funny, you ought to see that rooster hold a hen down with one leg and try to get those coveralls off with the other." |
| Three horny Mosquitoes named Mike, John & Chuck were hanging out on a tree, checking out the fine female lightning bugs fly by. They were talking about who could have sex with the hottest lightning bug. Mike sees a bright light fly by and land, he flies over and does the 'deed' with her. He flies back to tell his buddies that she was really hot. John sees an even brighter light fly by and land, he flies over and does her. Flies back and tell his buddies she was hotter than Mike's lightning bug. Chuck sees a bright red light fly by and land, he flies over pulls his 'thingie' out pokes the light and screams, comes back and both of his buddies were happy for Chuck, but Chuck doesn't look happy. Mike asks, "What's wrong, did she slap you?" Chuck says, "No!" John asks, "Did she kick you?" Chuck says, "No, I think she was a cigarette." |
| A farmer separated the bulls and cows to prepare them for the 'Mating Season' a few days later. The farmer constructed a wall of barbed wire to segregate the bulls and the cows. One Bull was already very Horny. Other bulls told him that there was one Veteran Bull Consultant in the herd, who could help. The bull went to him and asked how to cross the barbed wire wall to reach the cows. The Consultant explained "First of all, stand 60 feet away from the wall. Then run at 60 mph. Jump over the barrier at a 60degree angle. Do what you wish with the cows. then be back the same way."br> The Younger Bull asked, "But what if I messed up with the Calculations and my poor Genitals are mangled in the Barbed Wires? The Consultant replied cooly, "Then You become a Consultant." |