| Did you know that Eagles mate for life? Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary his darlin' of 10 glorious years. He went looking and found her. She had been shot. Dead! Harry was devastated. After about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate. But he just might like to cross the feather barrier. So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely DOVE and brought her back to the nest. The sex was OK but all the DOVE would say is: I am a DOVE I want to Love!? I am a DOVE I want to love! Well this got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the Dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate. He found a very sexy LOON and brought her back to the nest, again the sex was great, but all the LOON would say is: I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON I want to spoon! Egads, out with the LOON. Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous DUCK, so He brought the DUCK back to the nest. Again the sex was great, but all the DUCK would say was....... well....... you know....... No ...... the DUCK didn't say THAT!!!!!? That's an awful thing to think! The Duck said: I am a DRAKE you made a MISTAKE! |
| Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. "Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested. So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms. "Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald. The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?" "Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!" |
| A traveling salesman was passing through the country side and stopped at a farm asking for some cool water. The old farmers wife invited him to sit in the shade of the porch with her and got him some cold lemonade. They sat and talked for a while when suddenly a hen went running by with a rooster covered in a pair of coveralls chasing her. The salesman asked, "What in the devil was that?" The old farmers wife told him, "Well you see, some years ago we had a tornado come through here and hit the hen house. It killed all our chickens except for that rooster, but it plucked every feather off of him. Well I kind of felt sorry for him, seeing how as he did survive a tornado and I knitted him a pair of coveralls." The salesman said, "Well that is just about the funniest thing I have ever seen." To which the farmers wife replied, "You think that's funny, you ought to see that rooster hold a hen down with one leg and try to get those coveralls off with the other." |
| It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into." |