| A young buck went into a large store for a packet of rubbers. "Have you tried the rainbow ones?" asked the assistant, "We've got red ones, blue ones, green ones, orange ones, yellow ones, plus a few other different colors." "I'll try the lot," said the young man adventurously. Six months later, he appeared in the same store with a rather sorry looking young girl asking for maternity dresses. The same assistant served them asking, "What bust, madam?" "The blue one," The young man said sadly. |
| A woman walks past three men in the office who are all bemoaning the fact they are about to be audited during the coming month. Says the first guy with a groan, "I'm screwed!" "I'm screwed, too!" says the other guy, slapping his forehead. "Guys, I am about to be fucked beyond all recognition by this audit!" exclaims the third guy in anguish. Just then, one of the guys notices the woman who has been standing there listening. She now has a very thoughtful look on her face. "Are you OK?" asks the guy. "Yes," replies the woman, "but I was wondering... How do I go about getting audited?" |
| A cowboy, from East Texas, who shall remain nameless, walked into a hotel barber shop, sat down in the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face and was sharpening a wicked looking, shiney old straight edge razor, when a woman appeared out of a back room, sat down on a short stool and began to shine his shoes. Well this blonde gal had the biggest, firmest, most beautiful Dolly Parton breasts that the cowboy had ever seen. The cowpoke said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some quality time up in my hotel room." She giggled and replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that." The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll more than make it worth you time." She said, "You tell him. He is the guy with the razor that's shaving you." |
| Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch cock, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown." The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20″ cock, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy sighs and says: "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, Turn around!" |