| I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, NO other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." It took 15 minutes for the class to come to order. |
| Johnny wanted to screw, Margie, a girl in his class.....but she belonged to someone else... one day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you 50 dollars if you let me screw you." Margie said, "NO." Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished with my work by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend, Brad. So she called Brad and told him the story. "We could use some money to go to that concert next week," said Brad, "Tell him 100 dollars, by the time you pick up the money he won't even be able to get his pants down." So she tells Johnny and he agrees to 100 dollars. Half an hour goes by and Brad is waiting for his girlfriend to call. After 1 hour nothing. Finally after 2 hours Brad calls and asks why she hadn't called sooner. She replies, "Do you know how long it takes to pick up 100 dollars in quarters?" |
| At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.' The woman wrote: "When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, just like Sam and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another." And Sam wrote: "I love sex." |
| A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked on a gurney in the hallway when a man in a white coat came by, lifted the sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared. A few minutes later, the same man stopped by again, lifted her sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared. When he appeared a third time, she worked up her courage and asked, "Doctor, will I be going into surgery sometime soon?" And the man replied, "Don't ask me, lady. I'm just a painter!" |