| Doug meets Bill at the bar for their usual after work drink. Bill is sitting there looking somewhat depressed. Doug asks, "What's wrong pal?" Bill replies, "Well, I finally succeeded in talking my girlfriend in to a threesome." "Wow, lucky you. But why the long face?" Doug remarks. Bill sighs and says, "Yeah, well, as the threesome into entered its second hour of hot and heavy action, it dawned on me that I really should have specified that I wanted to be one of the three." |
| Gujarati Patel to wife: Remove your clothes. Wife: Why ? Gujarati Patel: Just remove and come on the bed. Wife: Okay I have taken off my clothes. Gujarati Patel: Nice sweetie. Also your bra and panties? Remove them also. Wife: Oh No, I am not in the mood. Gujarati Patel: Just remove your panties and bra. Don't tell me your "not in the mood story"! Wife: Okay they are off. What next? Gujarati Patel: Sit down and help me count my money. Every time you do that with your clothes are on, some cash goes missing. |
| A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems. A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client $100. She went back and informed the client at which he cried, "That's too much!" He then asked, "How much for a hand-job?" She asked him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband said, "Ask for $40." The woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman noticed that the man was well hung. She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again at which her husband asked, "Now what?" The wife replied, "Can I borrow $60?" |
| Pedro was sexually a very experienced man when he got married to Maria, but she was totally naive. On their wedding night, when Pedro removed his clothes, Maria asked, "Pedro! What is that?" Pedro, a quick thinker, said, "Maria, I am the only man in the world with one of these." And then he proudly proceeded to demonstrate to her what it was for. Maria was pleased. After their honeymoon was over, Pedro returned to work. On returning home in the evening after his first day at work post honeymoon, Pedro found a very upset Maria waiting on their front porch. "Pedro, you said you were the only man in the world with one of those and yet today, when I saw Gonzalez changing his clothes behind the shed, he had one, too!" Ever a fast thinker on his feet, Pedro said, "Oh, Maria, Gonzalez is my best friend. Since I had two, I gave him one. So he is the only other man in the world with one." A skeptical Maria accepted this answer, but when Pedro returned home from work the following evening, an agitated Maria was waiting on the porch. "Maria? Now what's wrong???" "Damn it, Pedro! You gave the better one to Gonzalez!" |