Clean Jokes



Learning a Foreign Language

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says. The two Englishmen just stare at him...

Late For Work

Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn`t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10. sometimes 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded...

Lockdown Lethargy

This lock-down is getting old and frankly I`ve had enough. I`ve discussed the matter over a cup of coffee with the kitchen sink, and we both agree that the experience is draining....

How to Play Slot Machines

I was on vacation in Las Vegas, playing the slot machines. It was my first time in a casino, and I wasn`t sure how any of the machines operated.
"Excuse me." I said to a casino employee...

What Marriage Teaches You

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration...

Survive Instructions - Anaconda Attack

This is true !!!
It details what to do if an anaconda attacks you.Excerpt is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for volunteers working in the Amazon Jungle...

Why Me...?

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over...

Jack & Jill by Shashi Tharoor

Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance. The purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen...

The Last Night of Peace

Chap goes in to a bar and orders a vodka and coke. Barman serves him. Man drinks it orders another. This goes on for a while, until the chap begins to slow down. Barman asks, "Is there anything the matter,