| While the family was having their dinner, the little girl wasn't eating. After a few moments, she said, "I have something to tell you people." Silence around the table. "I'm no longer a virgin," and she begins to cry. A long silence again. And then, the father angrily screamed at his wife, "It's your fault! Always dress and make up like a prostitute! Do you think you are setting a good example for your daughter? The wife, in turn shouted at her husband, "What about you? Are you setting a good example? Wasting your salary on runs girls who sometimes even accompany you to your doorstep! Are you setting a good example for your daughter?" The father continued, "And her elder sister, that good for nothing, With her rasta man of a boyfriend, Who is always found with her in all the hotels. Do you believe she is setting a good example for her younger sister?" And the rant went on. The grandmother touches the shoulder of her little grand daughter to console her And asks her, "Well, my little girl, how did it happen?" And the little girl replies while still crying, "It's the priest!" The grandmother asked, "What do you mean, by 'It is the priest'?" The little girl said, "The priest has chosen another girl to be Virgin Mary in the Christmas play. I'm no longer playing the role of Virgin Mary again." Always listen to the end before you react... |
| So, my wife managed to crash the car again today. When the police showed up, she was all fired up, insisting that the guy she hit was being totally reckless. "He was on his phone! Can you believe it?!" she exclaimed. "And, to make matters worse, he was sitting there, casually sipping on a can of beer!" The officer, trying his best to hold back a smile, took a deep breath, looked her dead in the eye, and said, "Ma'am... he can do whatever he wants... in his own living room." |
| Two multimillionaire friends met up for lunch and started chatting. "So how's your home life?" asks the first multimillionaire. "Couldn't be better," replies the second multimillionaire. "I bought an elephant!" "An elephant? Are you crazy?" "It's the best purchase I ever made! He grazes the lawn and makes it nice and even. The kids love to ride him and slide down his trunk, so now they are playing outside and being kids instead of just watching TV all day. My wife loves him too. He's very strong and helps her move things when I'm not around. Honestly, I can't think of a better pet." The first multimillionaire thinks for a moment. "That's actually kind of amazing. How much did you pay for him?" "Five hundred thousand dollars. What a bargain, huh?" "Can I buy him for one million dollars?" "What?! I can't sell him. He's part of my family now!" "Okay. Two million?" "You can't put a price on something so useful!" "Three million?" "Fine. I'll sell him for three million dollars, but only because you're my friend." A few months later, the multimillionaires meet again. The first multimillionaire is raging. "The elephant may have been useful to you, but he's a burden to me. He may have grazed your lawn, but he ate all my trees and left dung all over my lawn. The kids are terrified of that huge, noisy, aggressive thing. My wife and I haven't had a good night's sleep in months because the elephant keeps us awake. It's the worst purchase I ever made!" "I don't know what to say," says the second multimillionaire. "But with that attitude, you'll never be able to sell him!" |
| Ek Flat Mein Ghanti Bajti Hai Aur Ek Mahila, Jo Ghar Mein Akeli Hai, Darwaja Kholti Hai. Bhikshuk: Maai, Bhiksha De. Mahila: Ye Lo Maharaj. Bhikshuk: Maai... Zara Ye Dwar Paar Karke Baahar Toh Aana. Mahila Darwaje Paar Karke Baahar Aati Hai. Bhikshuk Mahila Ko Pakadte Hue Kehta Hai: Ha... Ha... Ha... Ha... Main Bhikshuk Nahin, Raavan Hun. Mahila: Ha... Ha... Ha... Toh Main Bhi Kaha Sita Hun, Main Toh Kaam Wali Baai Hun. Raavan: Ha... Ha... Ha... Sita Ji Ka Apaharan Karke Toh Aaj Tak Pachta Raha Hun Main. Tumhe Le Jaunga Toh Mandodari Khush Ho Jayegi, Usko Bhi Kaam Wali Baai Ki Zaroorat Hai. Mahila: Ha... Ha... Ha... Oye Pagle, Sita Mata Ko Dhoondne Toh Sirf Prabhu Ram Aur Laxman Ji Aaye The... Mujhe Dhoondne Toh Saari Society Aayegi, Kyunki Sabhi Ke Flats Ki Diwali Ki Safaai Abhi Baaki Hai. |