| There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University. He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GED, and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy. "Tell me your choice," said he to the boy, "What's your choice? I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one real difficult. Think well before you make up your mind." The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is one real difficult question." "Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the man on the opposite side. Tell me: What comes first, Day or Night?" The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said, "It's the Day, sir." Thinking to himself ("At last, I got you!"), the interviewer smiled and said, "How???" "Sorry sir, you promised me that you would ask me ONLY ONE difficult question!" The student was admitted to the University. |
| Morris went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," Morris replied. "Okay, then write him a nasty letter asking him for the $1000 he owes you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," Morris insisted. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will then have the proof we need to nail him." |
| There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me ?" After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of 'careful consideration' she answered, "Yes. Yes, I will." The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled, "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no' ?" He couldn't' t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No' ?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me." |
| A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. They hired a most comely young woman for the job. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat, and also kept the gentleman of the household most satisfied indeed!. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. "But why?" asked the disappointed wife. She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was ersistent, so finally she said, "Well, I'm pregnant." The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. I am not able to have children and my husband and I would dearly love children, so we'll adopt your baby if you will stay." She talked to her husband and of course he readily agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well. After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that she was pregnant again, talked to her husband, and offered to adopt the baby if she would stay. She agreed, had the baby, they adopted it, and life went on as usual. In a few months, however, she again said she would have to leave. Same thing. She was pregnant. They made the same offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third baby. She worked for another two months, but then said, "I am definitely leaving this time." "Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the lady of the house. "No," she said, "there are just too many bloody kids here to pick up after!" |