| A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Wow, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods... "I'll tell you, I'd thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor. "No, from skipping," replied the blonde. |
| I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas. For three days all I heard from him was... "In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that, etc. etc.' It eventually became very annoying. I am from Niagara Falls and I thought I could outdo him by showing him the "Magnificent Niagara", knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this "Wonder of Water and Power". While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes. It was then I asked him, "Do you have anything like this in Texas?" He waited a moment before he answered, "No, but we have a plumber that could fix it." |
| Nathan is talking to his lawyer. "Here's the deal, Abe. If you're absolutely sure I'll win the case, I'll give you the business." "OK," replies Abe, "but before I can give you my opinion, I obviously need to know the facts." So Nathan goes into great detail about his failed partnership and ends up saying, "So now you've heard everything, do you think I can sue my partner and get my money back?" "Well," replies Abe, "from what I've just heard, it's clear to me that you will win. It's rare to have such an open-and-shut case." Nathan goes very white when he hears this. "What's the matter?" asks Abe. "I told you my partner's side of the case," replies Nathan. |
| Larry, a computer programmer for a consulting group, had designed some software for a large account. He asked John's help in putting it into operation. At first, Larry handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked John to help with the last phase of the training. When John sat down with one woman and told her he would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him" she said. Surprised, John said that his colleague was far more experienced than he was. "Yes," she said. "But I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around really intelligent and smart people". |