| A Dentist was conducting a survey: "How long do you use your Toothbrush...?" Chinese: "3 months...!!!" American: "1 month...!!!" Indian: "There is no fixed time limit doctor, may be years...!!! Initially we use it for brushing our teeth; then we use it for dying our hair, cleaning comb, cleaning ornaments, cleaning machine parts of our vehicles, cleaning the dirt in between two tiles in bathroom etc... etc... Then when there are no bristles left on the brush, we do not throw it doctor. we start using it for pushing 'Naada' in our Chaddis, Pajamas & Petticoats...!!!" |
| American Interviewer: So what's your email ID ? Indian Candidate: Sir, iamanindian@gmail.com American: And password ? Indian Candidate: 12345678 American Interviewer: You are so dumb. You shared such a confidential information so easily for the Job. How can we trust that you will not share any confidential information of the company for some better Offers ? Indian Candidate: Sir, I might have shared my password with you but I don't think you can still login to my email account. Let's look for the possibilities. My Password can be 12345678 Or Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight Or 1twothreefourfivesixseveneight 1twothreefourfivesixseven8....... so on..... Or 2444666668888888 (one 2, three 4s, five 6s seven 8s) 13355557777778 (1, two 3s, four 5s, six 7s and 8) Or Combination of all of these ........ By the way, did I mention use of capitals ? American Interviewer: How much will you you take boss ? Indian: I refuse to accept your offer Sir ! Becoz I don't want to work under dumb people. |
| Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. In London, a customer asked, "Do you have "Sarso Da Tel?" The shopkeeper says "Are you a "Punjabi?" The guy (clearly offended) says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something... If I had asked for Olive Oil, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hotdog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? If I had asked for halal meat, would you ask me if I was Muslim? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? The shopkeeper says, "No, I probably wouldn't." The guy says, "Well then because I asked for Sarso Da Tel, why did you ask if I am a Punjabi?" The (calm) shopkeeper replied, "Because, this is a wine shop." |
| 1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead. 2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz. 3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house - only computers with laser printers. 4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card. 5. You disdain people who use low baud rates. 6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers - and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head. 7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it. 8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it. 9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number. 10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions. 11. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature. 12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-). 13. You back up your data every day. 14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse. 15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid. |