| What is the difference between an Ordinary Thief (OT) and a Political Thief (PT)? 1. The Ordinary Thief steals your money, bag, watch, gold chain etc. But, The Political Thief steals your future, career, education, health and business! 2. The hilarious part is: The Ordinary Thief will choose whom to rob. But, you yourself choose the Political Thief to rob you. 3. The most ironic one: Police will chase and nab the Ordinary Thief. But, Police will look after and protect the Political Thief! That's the travesty and irony of our current society! And, we blindly say we are not blind! 4. The stupid part of the whole issue is that we insult and fight the Ordinary Thief but we Fight each other for the Political Thief. |
| The other day I accompanied my wife when she went to the parlor for a haircut. Reading a magazine in the reception area, I found an interesting article. I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a photocopy. "Leave some ID, a driver's license or a credit card," she said. "But my Wife is here getting a haircut," I explained. "Yes, I know," she replied. "But I need something you'll come back for." |
| A blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her, "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love and your prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to commend you and to grant you anything you wish." "Oh, Father, I am perfectly happy. I do what I love. The Church supports me. I am content. I need nothing." "There must be something you would like," said God. Well, there is one thing." "Name it," said God. She frowned. "It's those blonde jokes. They're so demeaning, not just to me but to blondes everywhere. Can you stop them?" "Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes are hereby stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But isn't there something I could do just for you?" "Well, there's one thing. But it's really small and not worth Your time," she said. "Tell me, please!" said God. "It's the M&M's," she said. "They're so hard to peel!" |
| Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there. He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal, and the humble shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look. One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO: What do you think of the stock market situation? The Director arrogantly asks him: Why are you so interested in this subject? The shoeshine man replies: I have a million dollars invested in your bank and I am thinking about investing part of the money in the stock market. The CEO of the bank asks: What is your name? He replies: John Smith H. The Director arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Major Accounts Department: Do we have a customer named John Smith H.? The Customer Service Manager for Major Accounts replies: We certainly do, Sir! He is an extremely esteemed customer! He has a million dollars in his account. The CEO leaves the bank, approaches the shoeshine boy, and says: Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you to be our guest of honor at our board meeting next Monday and tell us your life story. I'm sure we will have a lot to learn from you. At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members: We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine like no one else. But Mr. Smith is also our valued customer, with a million dollars in his account. I invited him to tell us the story of his life. I'm sure we can learn a lot from him. Please, Mr. Smith, tell us your life story. Then, Mr. Smith began to narrate his story: I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe and with a weird and unpronounceable name. I left the ship penniless in my pocket. The first thing I did was to change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started to wander in search for a job, but without success. Suddenly, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought some apples. Eat the apples and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apples for 50 cents and bought more apples with the money. When I started accumulating dollars, I managed to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polishes and started cleaning shoes. I didn't spend a dime on fun or clothes. I only bought bread and cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while I bought a new set of brushes and shoe polishes in different shades and colors and increased my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved a penny after penny. After a while, I managed to buy a chair so that my customers could sit comfortably while I cleaned their shoes, which brought me more customers. I didn't spend a dime on the pleasures of life. I kept saving every penny. A few years ago, when the corner shoeshine colleague decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his point, which was a better place than mine. Finally, three months ago, my sister, who was a whore in Chicago, passed away and left me a million dollars.... |