| A man was lying on the psychiatrist's couch as his therapist addressed him. "Well, Jim. I'm pleased to announce that this will be our final session. I believe that you finally are cured of your paranoia." "Yes, doctor. I am." "I remember how you used to think that men in black were following you everywhere. But you don't believe that anymore, do you?" "No, doctor. I don't" "I remember also how you used to think that black helicopters were hovering over your house. But you don't believe that anymore either, do you?" "No, doctor. I don't" "Finally, I remember how you used to think that CIA agents were monitoring your mail, bugging your phone, and snooping into your affairs. But you don't believe that anymore either, do you?" "No, doctor. I don't. Thanks to your therapy, I no longer harbor such delusions. In fact, you've been so helpful to me, that I'm really sorry that I have to kill you now," said Jim, as he pulled out a gun. The psychiatrist was shocked. "Wait a minute. Why do you have to kill me?" "You know too much." |
| A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent. The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them. Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door. The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!" "Of course I heard you," the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!" |
| A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tyre alongside the highway, and pulled over to see whether he could help. The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he'd wiped off sweat with dirty hands. His tie was undone and his shirt collar askew, and it was clear he had also wiped his hands on his once-white shirt. Close to him stood an immaculately neat woman who was speaking in quick, agitated tones. "Hello, there," said the motorist. "Say, I've changed a lot of tyres... maybe I can help here." "You sure can," the man with the flat tyre replied wearily. "My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the arguing with her about how this tyre ought to be changed, I will concentrate on the dirty work and get the job done." |
| A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him. After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk. "I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him. And now he left me with a young woman. My life is stolen, and I'm left with nothing. I don't know what to do." The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he ask, "Is the cookie delicious?" "Yes," she answer. "Do you want another one?" "Sure, please." The monk looks her in the eyes and said, "Do you see the problem now?" The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speak, "I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It's never enough. And nothing lasts forever, anything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed for that." The monk shakes his head, "No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less." |