| One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn't mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife to a restaurant when he noticed a stiletto-heeled shoe half-hidden under the passenger seat. Gripped with terror, he took advantage of a moment when she wasn't looking to grab the shoe and throw it out of the window. The rest of the journey went well until they arrived at the restaurant. "That's strange," said his wife, looking a little agitated. "Have you seen my other shoe?" |
| A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since it can: 1. cause excessive sweating and vomiting. 2. it is a major component in acid rain. 3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state. 4. accidental inhalation can kill you. 5. it contributes to erosion. 6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes, 7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients. He asked 150 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. One hundred forty-three said yes. Six were undecided. Only one knew that the chemical was... Water! The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?" He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to the alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. |
| A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be. The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious pieces of gigantic steaks. To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they'd ever seen. "Now see here," the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter. "Yesterday when I came down here you served me a BIG, juicy, steak. Today, though, when I have my friends invited, you serve small miniature steaks! What is the meaning of this?" "Yes, sir," replied the waiter, "yesterday you were sitting by the window." |
| She said: A bricklayer at my husbands construction job routinely complained about the contents of his lunch box. "I'm sick and tired of getting the same old thing!" he shouted one day. "Tonight I'll set my wife straight." The next day the men could hardly wait until lunch time to hear what happened. "You bet I told her off," the bricklayer boasted. "I said, 'No more of the same old stuff. Be creative!' We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point across." He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut- and a hammer. |