| A woman from Michigan and another from the East coast were seated side-by-side on an airplane. The woman from Michigan, being friendly and all, said, "So, where are you from?" The East coast woman said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The woman from Michigan sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where are you from, you silly bitch?" |
| On one fine sunny day, Akbar and Birbal were taking a leisurely walk in the palace gardens. Suddenly, Akbar thought of testing Birbal's wits by asking him a tricky question. Emperor asked Birbal, "How many crows are there in our kingdom?" Birbal could sense the amusement in the king's voice, and within a few minutes Birbal replied, "My king, there are eighty thousand nine hundred and seventy-one crows in our kingdom."" Surprised and amazed, Akbar further tested Birbal, "What if we have more crows?" Birbal replied, "Oh, then the crows from the other kingdoms must be visiting us." "What if there are lesser crows?" asked Akbar. "Well, then some of our crows must be visiting other kingdoms," replied Birbal with a grin on his face. Akbar smiled at Birbal's great sense of humour and wit. |
| A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes. "Gosh!" exclaimed the new bride. "You certainly have a dangerous job. Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?" "Yes, on rare occasions," answered the handler. "Well," she continued, "just what do you do when you're bitten by a snake?" "I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound." "What, uh... what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?" persisted the woman. "Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are." |
| This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends players out one at a time, to see if they can get in before they get out. If they get out before they get in, they come in, but it doesn't count. If they get in before they get out it does count. When the ones out get three outs from the ones in before they get in without being out, the team that's out comes in and the team in goes out to get those going in out before they get in without being out. When both teams have been in and out nine times the game is over. The team with the most in without being out before coming in wins unless the ones in are equal. In which case, the last ones in go out to get the ones in out before they get in without being out. The game will end when each team has the same number of ins out but one team has more in without being out before coming in. |