| A nice girl brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiance to his study for a chat. "So, what are your plans?" the father asks the fiance. "I am a Biblical scholar," he replies. "A Biblical scholar. Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?" "I will study," the young man replies, "...and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" "I will concentrate on my studies, God will provide for us." "And children? How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide." The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the fiance insists that God will provide. Later, the mother asks, "So? How did it go?" "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God." |
| Four men applied for the same job and were equally qualified so the interviewer decided to ask them one extra question to display their creativity: "What is the fastest thing you can think of and why?" The first man answered, "A thought, because it just pops into your head without warning." "Good," replied the interviewer and turned to the second man, "And you?" The second man said, "A blink, because it comes and goes and you don't know it happened." "Good," said the interviewer and looked at the third man. "Light, because when you flip a switch, the light comes on instantaneously." "Science says nothing is faster than light," said the interviewer. Then it was Murphy's turn. Murphy proclaimed, "The fastest thing is diarrhea." "What?!" spurted the stunned interviewer. "Why? How?" Murphy finished, "Well, the other day, when I weren't feeling so good, I ran for the bathroom but before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I shit my pants!" |
| God is happy! He has cleared all the backlog of prayers of his devotee's. 1. Kids: I wish we had no school and play all day. Done 2. Women: I want the undivided attention of my husband. Done 3. Husbands: I'm sick of this traffic, I wish I could work from home. Done! 4. Working Moms: I wish I could spend some quality time with my kids and read. Done!! 5. Students: I wish I had no exams? Done! 6. Old Parents: I wish our kids could spend more time with us rather than being busy everyday. Done! 7. Employee: I'm slogging too much, need a break. Done! 8. Employers: I have no life of my own, I wish could relax. Done! 9. Earth: I cant breathe, I wish I could get a break from all this pollution and chaos... Done! Beware of what you wish - You might just get it.... Without Warning! |
| A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind." The pastor shouted out, "CROSS." Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS." The pastor hollered out, "GRACE." The congregation began to sing, "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound." The pastor said, "POWER." The congregation sang, "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD." The Pastor said, "SEX!" The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing, "PRECIOUS MEMORIES." |