| "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Johnny, "there's something I can't figure out." "What's that, Johnny?" asked Goldblatt. "Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?" "Right." "And the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?" "Er, right." "And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?" "Again you're right." "And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?" "All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?" "What were all the grown-ups doing?" |
| A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stonewall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time you let me poot me hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her leg. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. Angus blurted out, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?" |
| A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stonewall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time you let me poot me hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her leg. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. Angus blurted out, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?" |
| A Chinese man boarded a flight to Chicago and promptly sat down on the first seat he encountered. He was soon told that seat was reserved for flight attendants. With his limited English he did not fully understand what he was told but hand signals soon got him to move a little further back. Soon there was another person persuading him to move out of first class. Again he moved further back. There was yet another discussion and he took no further chances and went to the very last seat in the tourist section. Some time later a flight attendant asked him if he was "for coffee". Furious he replied, "You foh coffee, I stayah hee." |