| The following ad in the Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls: "Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy." Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight week-old black Labrador retriever. |
| Father: What happened to your results? Son: I have been NEWZEALANDED. Father: What?!!!! What do you mean? Son: Dad, Myself and another boy both scored exactly same marks. But, he was given 1st Rank, while I got 2nd. Father: This is ridiculous. If marks are equal, then both should have been declared Joint 1st Rank Holders na? By the way, how come he got 1st Rank? On what basis? Son: I checked that too. Principal said it was decided based on how many additional sheets were taken by us while writing the exams. He had taken more than me. So..... |
| An underwear making company was having a tough time with stock theft. On departure for home, all workers' bags were searched and everything always seemed OK. All security measures one can think of were put in place, Auditors were called in but still no one was caught and stocks continued to disappear. All workers, including management were checked on departure, each wearing just one underwear and no one was caught with more than one pair. Then... One day, the Auditor advised security to check all workers on their arrival... and the case was solved! |
| Two guys are sitting at a bar. "You know why I love this bar?" asks the first one. "No," says the second guy. "Why do you love this bar?" The first guy points at the window, which is six stories above the ground. "It has a magic window," he says. "You jump out of that window, and you can fly." The second guy just shakes his head. "Shut up." "No," says the first guy. "It really is a magic window. I'll prove it to you." So the first guy gets down from his bar stool, runs at the window, jumps out of it, and flies. He flies around the building twice, up and down, and finally comes back in. He walks to his barstool, and takes a sip of his drink. "See?" he says. The second guy looks confused. He looks at his drink. "I must be drunk," he says. "Still don't believe me?" asks the second guy. "I'll show you again." He gets down from his stool, runs and jumps out of the window again. This time he performs some impressive aerial acrobatics, spins, flips, dives. When he finally comes back in, the second guy is staring at him, slack-jawed. "Wow," says the second guy. "A magic window." He gets off his barstool, takes a running jump out of the window, and promptly plummets to his death. The first guy starts laughing. The bartender comes over to the first guy with a stern look on his face. "Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk." Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/jokes-archive/2019/07/16/ |