| What is the difference between a Wife and a Girlfriend? Great thought in Modified version. Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE. At home you watch TV, but when you go out you take your MOBILE with you. Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time, you play with your MOBILE. TV is (as good as) free for life, but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated. TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy, replaceable and portable. Operational costs for TV is often acceptable but for the MOBILE, it is often high and demanding. TV has a remote but MOBILE doesn't. Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (you talk and listen), but with the TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)! Last but not least! Yet TVs are superior because TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILES often do. And mobiles can be easily hacked or stolen. Take Care. Stick to TV only. Issued in Public interest! |
| Try this out: Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into some very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins! Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: "Every rectal thermometer made by Jonson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized." Now close your eyes and repeat out louse five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson." |
| An airbus with 346 passengers on board met with technical problems and as the message was flashed to the passengers, they started screaming with fear. The Captain said, "Don't panic. I want to ask you. Who among you is the greatest believer. Who has the greatest faith in God?" A passenger from the economy class yelled, "Myself." Captain, "Are you sure?" Passenger, "Yes, I am." Captain, "Please stand at that corner and pray. We have a shortage of 1 parachute." |
| A blonde walking by a travel agency notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special - $99!" She goes inside, hands the agent her money, and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, pushes her in and leaves her, floating downstream. A few minutes later another blonde passes by, sees the sign, goes inside, and pays for the $99 cruise special. She receives the same treatment. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. As they float along, side-by-side, the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?" The other replies, "They didn't last year!" |