| Timmy and Tina were sitting down to eat their supper with the baby sitter when 6 year old Timmy saw the baby sitter sit down in his father's seat. "You can't sit in my father's seat!" Timmy exclaimed. "Your father is not home," the baby sitter replied, matter-of-factly. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss." Tina, the 4 year old, quickly replied, "If you're the boss, you have to sit over there in Mommy's chair!" |
| An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone, he said, "There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 pounds, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts and if anyone has gone to Heaven, he has." They walked on a bit farther and then came to another grave. The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, "Now, there's a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60 pounds and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has gone to Hell, he has." The little boy thought for awhile and then said, "You know, Granddad, you are very lucky." "Why"? asked the old man in surprise. "Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have some money waiting when you get there!" |
| A social worker who had recently transferred from the big city to the mountains was touring her new territory. She came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen.
Intrigued, she knocked on the door. "Anybody home?" A child's voice answered, "Yep." "Is your Father there?" "Pa? Nope, he left before Ma came in." "Well, is your Mother there?" "Nope, Ma left just before I got here." "Are you never together as a family?" "Sure, but not here. This is the outhouse!" |
| A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam took one of his ribs and made Eve. They lived in the Garden of Eden till a snake gave Eve an apple which she and Adam took a bite from and they were thrown out into the world naked and alone. They had children and so was all mankind made." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they evolved from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his." |