| I asked my friend's son what he wanted to be when he grows up. He said he wanted to be Prime Minister some day. Both of his parents, liberal leftists, were standing there, so I asked him, "If you were Prime Minister, what would be the first thing you would do?" He replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." His parents beamed with pride. "Wow... what a worthy goal." I told him. "But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you Rs. 500. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the same 500 rupee note for food and new set of clothes." He thought that over for a few seconds, then he looked me straight in the eyes and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him Rs. 500?" I said, "Welcome to the Rightist fold." His parents still aren't speaking to me |
| Application To Take Wife Out For Anniverasy Dinner To, The SHO Police Thana Hazartganz Lucknow Respected Sir, I am a common man of this country, I have been married for 24 years and my 25th anniversary is coming up shortly. I had planned to take my wife out for a special anniversary dinner, all these years she has been complaining that I am not a very romantic person so I wanted to take her out for a candle light dinner where I plan to have champagne, hold her hands, look into her eyes, present her with a rose and a diamond ring, subsequently I plan to order some mutton with rice eat my dinner in peace and come back home. Sir, of late I have been reading in the newspapers that some Anti Romeo Squads have been made to catch rowdy elements who tease girls, Sir I think this is a very good idea and there should be no compromise on the safety and security of our girls, I have also read that just by the look in the eyes these policemen can make out who these Romeos are, and recently they caught a brother and sister sitting together and took them to the Police Station. Sir, even though I am not a very romantic person but just for one day I wanted to get that romantic look in my eyes to impress my wife, but Sir am scared that just by that look the Police may think I am a Romeo and arrest me. I assure you Sir that look will all be made up only for a few hours and will become normal after that. As far as mutton is concerned I will order Paneer if that is permitted and think that I am eating mutton. I am a law abiding, tax paying citizen of the country and hence Sir would request you to grant me permission to take my wife out for this dinner. Copy of my Aadhaar card, PAN card, driving licence, Passport, Identity card are enclosed for your verification please. Looking forward to an early reply from you Sir. With warm regards yours sincerely xxxxxxxxx |
| History of Yadav family Whatsapp group. Mulayam Singh Yadav created Samajwadi Party group. Added brother Shivpal Yadav. Added second brother Ram Gopal Yadav. Added son Akhilesh Yadav. Added Daughter-in-law. Mulayam made Akhilesh Yadav the admin. Things were going decent until Mulayam made the mistake of adding a friend to this whatsapp group. Added Amar Singh. Amar sent too many forwards, videos and good morning messages. Obviously pissed off a few people. Akihlesh voiced his opinion because his data was getting used up thanks to the stupid forwards. Akhilesh removes Amar Singh from the group. Mulayam removes Ram Gopal Yadav. Akhilesh adds Ram Gopal Yadav. Akhilesh removes Shivpal Yadav. Mulayam adds Shivpal Yadav. Mulayam adds Amar Singh. Situation is tense. Mulayam removes Ram Gopal Yadav. Mulyam removes Akhilesh Yadav. Mulyam realises that he removed the admin. Bad call, whatdapp group is going down. Mulyaam adds Akhilesh Yadav. Mulayam adds Ram Gopal Yadav. Akhilesh removes Mulayam... To be continued... |
| After passing on, George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God. God asks Bush, "What do you believe in?" Bush answers, "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!" God is impressed by Bush and tells him, "Great , come sit on the chair on my right" Next, God asks Obama, "What do you believe in?" Obama answers, "I believe in the power of democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc." God is really impressed by Obama and tells him, "Well done , come sit on the chair on my left. Finally, God asks Trump, "What do you believe in?" Trump answers, "I believe you're sitting on my chair." |