I started reading a horror story in Braille.
Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it!
No. I don't drink, smoke, or do weed. But I'm still perfectly capable of messing up my life as much as you are!
Reincarnation is ultimately pointless if you don't remember anything from your past life!
The most forgiving people are least forgiving to themselves and the least forgiving people are the most forgiving to themselves!
The difference between booze and weed?
Six drunk guys will start a fight.
Six stoned guys will start a band!
Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!
At the Olympics, I saw an athlete carrying a long stick and asked him: `Are you a pole vaulter?`
He replied: `No I'm German but how do you know my name is Walter?`
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for.
So far no one has given me a straight answer!
I went back to an Army camp yesterday. Nothing much has changed since. The army is still the most confusing place:
The toilet for private soldiers is marked "For General Use."
However, the toilet for the Generals is marked "For Private Use."
I am very confused. It's a Major problem!
Most people probably apologize unnecessarily more often than they apologize when it is necessary!
