I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon Fresh.
I'll let you know!
Theory of Relativity:
Do not keep roasted peanuts in a transparent jar, they disappear fast. But if you keep roasted cashews in a transparent jar next to a peanut jar, peanuts last longer. However, if you add a third element... A Wine bottle nearby, all disappear in no time!
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You are pointless!
I love camping and staying at the hotel with the air conditioner on... is my favourite activity!
If a ghost can open cupboards and break things, why not just take a pencil, find paper, write exactly why it's unhappy, and tape the message on the fridge!
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
A barberqueue!
What do you call two horizontally challenged people having a chat?
A heavy discussion!
Why did the barber win the race?
Because he took a shortcut!
I've just applied for a job in a salad packing factory.
The hours are terrible, but apparently, the celery is good!
Everyone in the office was upset hearing my wife shouting at me.
I think it's high time I change my phone's ringtone!
