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Upload to Facebook Lockdown can only go 4 ways.
You will come out a monk, a hunk, a chunk, or a drunk.
Choose wisely! -
Upload to Facebook Zuckerberg claims he wears a gray t-shirt every day because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter.
Well, he founded Facebook! -
Upload to Facebook The Law of Averages is all bullsh*t.
I've been married for fifteen years and I haven't won an argument with my wife even once! -
Upload to Facebook What do you call a kangaroo wearing a sweater?
A wooly jumper! -
Upload to Facebook Tried to take a selfie in the shower.
It turned out all blurry. I think I have selfie steam issues! -
Upload to Facebook My next-door neighbor and I are very good friends, so we decided to share our water supply, because...
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...we got along 'well'! -
Upload to Facebook I have the attention of a goldfish.
Seriously, it's been watching me for hours! -
Upload to Facebook A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won't let him go and everyone will likely understand. But if a girl declines an invitation by saying her boyfriend won't let her go, people will likely get concerned! -
Upload to Facebook The reason why shows like Friends and The Office are so loved is that they show us what we truly want in life - a tight-knit social group that we're always a part of, no matter how bad we screw up!
#FriendsReunion -
Upload to Facebook So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?
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