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Upload to Facebook Boss: Why aren't you working?
Employee: I didn't see you coming! -
Upload to Facebook People keep asking me, "Is COVID-19 REALLY that serious?" Listen, the casinos and churches are closed.
When Heaven and Hell agree on the same thing, it's probably pretty serious!
#COVID19 #Coronavirus -
Upload to Facebook Smart men don't tell you how smart they are.
Rich men don't tell you how rich they are.
Tough men don't tell you how tough they are.
Honest men don't tell you how honest they are.
Con men do! -
Upload to Facebook I helped my neighbor out with something today and he said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it! You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! -
Upload to Facebook Patient: I am finding it impossible to get any alone time lately.
Therapist: Have you tried dating a golfer? -
Upload to Facebook Things not to say on a first date:
3. You've overdone the makeup
2. You look fat in this outfit
1. Wait a minute, my wife is calling -
Upload to Facebook I'm a nobody.
Nobody is perfect.
And therefore, I am perfect! -
Upload to Facebook Friend: How do you sleep at night fully knowing people don't like you?
Me: With no underwear. In case, they want to kiss my a**! -
Upload to Facebook I am convinced that most girls want a wedding more than a husband! -
Upload to Facebook Kid: I have a netbook, smartphone, flash drive, iPad. Dad, what did you use in school when you were a student?
Dad: My brain!
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