Husband: You know, the female black widow spider kills the male spider after mating. I don't understand why. Wife: I'm pretty sure it's to stop the male from snoring before it starts! |
My doctor just flirted with me. She said I have a cute appendicitis! |
I was practicing the dance steps of the Macarena song and my neighbor thought I was having a heart attack and he called the ambulance! |
Law of Karma is the ultimate Justice and it is not a punishment, but a liberation! |
Wisdom is not cheap. It costs ego, hatred, desire, solitude and some really hard life-lessons! |
If you see me talking to myself, please go your way. I am self-employed and having a staff meeting! |
I hated my new haircut. But then it grew on me! |
Every day is a new day to try again. This is a coded message to all the guys who are trying to get a response from their crushes! |
March 2021: Pretty much the same as March 2020 but now we have the toilet paper! |
Girls will know 309 different shades of lipstick but don't know the true intentions of the guy they're talking to! |