"Good morning madam, I'm from the maintenance company. I understand there's something in the house that's not working." "Yes, he's upstairs!" |
The snoring of men is the Karma of women. Women don't shut up all day and men don't shut up all night! |
A friend is a push when you have stopped. A chat when you are lonely. A guide when you are searching. A smile when you are sad. And a song when you are glad! |
Whenever I give money to beggars, my wife tells me "they're going to get drunk with your money". As if I wasn't gonna do the same! |
I always get nostalgic putting my car in reverse. It really takes me back! |
My husband just called me pretentious. I was so surprised my monocle fell out! |
"What's the Wi-Fi password?" ~ How people say hello these days! |
I bought my daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday. Just so glad she's now finally 'independent'! |
It just occurred to me that the opposite of Artificial Intelligence is... . . . . . . Real Stupid! |
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed. Tomorrow I'm returning this piece of junk to IKEA! |