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![Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.]()
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~ Oscar WildeAlways borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. -
~ Mark TwainFamiliarity breeds contempt - and children.
Notebooks, 1935 -
~ Jarod KintzI'm 30-years-old, and I still can't get out from under my father's shadow. He's really tall, so maybe I'll just ask him to move over a few feet. -
![When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.]()
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~ Mark TwainWhen angry, count four. When very angry, swear. -
~ Griff NiblackIf a man had as many ideas during the day as he does when he has insomnia, he'd make a fortune. -
![Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.]()
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~ Phyllis DillerNever go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -
~ Author UnknownWinter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat. -
~ Author UnknownI know I'm not everybody's cup of tea... I'd rather be someone's shot of tequila anyway. -
~ Mark TwainAdam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething. -
~ Wendy LiebmanI've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
