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~ Mark TwainFamiliarity breeds contempt - and children. -
~ Ross ParkeHaving smoking and non-smoking sections in the same room is like having urinating and non-urinating sections in a swimming pool. -
~ Jimmy CarrWhen you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. Last summer in India I listened to a lot of Michael Bolton. -
![Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention.]()
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~ Ian HayMarriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. -
~ Rodney DangerfieldWhat a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. -
~ Flash RosenbergHow lucky we are that we can reach our genitals instead of that spot on our back that itches. -
~ Sam LevensonThe reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy. -
~ Jason FriedFacebook and Twitter aren't the real problems in the office. The real problems are what I like to call the M&Ms, the Managers and the Meetings. -
~ Tom CotterIn her will, my grandmother stipulated that she wanted to be buried with all of her favourite possessions. Her cat was not happy. -
~ Ashleigh BrilliantI want to reach your mind. Where is it currently located?
