| What did I learn today? Ninety-nine percent of employees think their bosses are idiots, while ninety-nine percent of bosses think their employees are morons! |
| If life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them as hard as possible at the people making your life difficult! |
| Children: You spend the first 2 years of your life teaching them to walk & talk. You spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up! |
| Saw a lady at the gym this morning do three sets of selfies! |
| Younger generation has a streak on snapchat Older generation has a good morning streak on WhatsApp! |
| Isn't it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything & then one hand that just sits there like, "I don't know how to hold a pencil"! |
| Maybe School isn't meant to teach you anything but to get you used to waking up and going to a boring job everyday! |
| Doctor: Since how long do you have a fever? Patient: 1 week; not long enough to term it as pyrexia of unknown origin. Doctor: Ok! Does it spike at a particular time of the day? Patient: No, you can exclude Malaria! Doctor (hands over the prescription): Le Saale Jo Chahiye Khud Hi Likh Le! |
| Lifecycle of a SABZI in a Punjabi home: Dinner: Aloo Gobhi Ki Sabzi Next Day Breakfast: Aloo Gobhi Mashed Paranthe Evening Snack: Stuffed Toasts of the mashed Aloo Gobhi left |
| You discovered the ability to time travel. You go 30 years into the future expecting to meet your future self only to discover that you are still single and have been missing for 30 years! |
