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![Wimbledon tells us how the British want the world to think about them, and Football tells us how they actually are!]()
Upload to Facebook Wimbledon tells us how the British want the world to think about them, and Football tells us how they actually are! -
![The wife was checking her husband's phone and saw a contact named COVID-19, she called the number and her own phone rang.<br/>
And the husband is now isolated!]()
Upload to Facebook The wife was checking her husband's phone and saw a contact named COVID-19, she called the number and her own phone rang.
And the husband is now isolated! -
![A man was brought to court in connection with a street accident.<br/>
Lawyer: How did you cause the accident?<br/>
Man: Which accident?<br/>
Lawyer: The accident for which you are in court now.<br/>
Man: I had fallen asleep before the accident happened. If I had been awake I could tell you!]()
Upload to Facebook A man was brought to court in connection with a street accident.
Lawyer: How did you cause the accident?
Man: Which accident?
Lawyer: The accident for which you are in court now.
Man: I had fallen asleep before the accident happened. If I had been awake I could tell you! -
![I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said 'do you mind if I put some music on?'<br/>
I said, `Not at all.`
He said, `Kiss?`<br/>
I said, `Let's listen to the music first and see how we feel!`]()
Upload to Facebook I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said 'do you mind if I put some music on?'
I said, "Not at all." He said, "Kiss?"
I said, "Let's listen to the music first and see how we feel!" -
![I've got a German friend who's a sound technician.<br/>
I've got a Czech one too. Czech one too!]()
Upload to Facebook I've got a German friend who's a sound technician.
I've got a Czech one too. Czech one too! -
![Patient: Doctor, over the last three days I have followed your instructions. I have not eaten any food added with preservative colour or even sprayed. I have not even touched them.<br />
Doctor: Great! So how do you feel now?<br />
Patient: Hungry! Extremely hungry!]()
Upload to Facebook Patient: Doctor, over the last three days I have followed your instructions. I have not eaten any food added with preservative colour or even sprayed. I have not even touched them.
Doctor: Great! So how do you feel now?
Patient: Hungry! Extremely hungry! -
![Did you hear the one about the greedy peanut butter?<br />
I am not telling you. You might spread it!]()
Upload to Facebook Did you hear the one about the greedy peanut butter?
I am not telling you. You might spread it! -
![How do you make gold soup?<br />
You put 24 carrots in it!]()
Upload to Facebook How do you make gold soup?
You put 24 carrots in it! -
![Customer: I'd like your mildest roast, please.<br/>
Barista: You have got really average ears!]()
Upload to Facebook Customer: I'd like your mildest roast, please.
Barista: You have got really average ears! -
![I pointed towards two old drunks sitting across the table in the bar and told my friend `We'll be like that in another 10 years.`<br/>
He said, `That's a mirror, you idiot!`]()
Upload to Facebook I pointed towards two old drunks sitting across the table in the bar and told my friend "We'll be like that in another 10 years."
He said, "That's a mirror, you idiot!"
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