Waiter: Is Pepsi OK? Me: I don't judge. I'm cola blind! |
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words! |
Today somebody told me that I take criticism very badly so I punched him in the face! |
Toxic people are toxic not simply because of their behavior but because of their unwillingness to acknowledge it and improve! |
A friend of mine used to install kitchen work surfaces, but they arrested him for counter fitting! |
My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree. I told him, "Grow a pear"! |
Interviewer: why should we hire you as a waiter? Candidate: For starters, I bring a lot to the table! |
Did you know that your pupils are the last parts to stop working after you die? They dilate! |
Being able to disagree with someone you like and agree with someone you don't like are completely undervalued life skills! |
Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on what we are waiting for! |