| Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last |
| It's perfectly okay to have sex on an empty stomach, especially if it belongs to your partner |
| Sex is the poor man's polo. --Clifford Odets |
| Don't do it if you can't keep it up |
| Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast |
| Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand |
| Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control !! |
| Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest |
| I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in |
| For my next trick, I'll need a blonde volunteer and a condom. |