| Bad: Your hubby says, "No more kids". Worse: You can't find your birth control pills. Worst: Your daughter borrowed them. |
| A mobile is like a woman: Talks non-stop; Costs a fortune; Disturbs when U r busy; And when U need it urgently, there's no service. |
| A young girl came fully tired and exhausted after her honeymoon. When her friends asked her what happened, she replied, "When this 70 year old bastard told me he has saved a lot from the last 50 years, I thought it was money". |
| Why can't a man satisfy a woman completely? Because he doesn't have a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash! |
| Typical Honeymoon photo pose: He's on a chair. She is standing. Why typical? . .. ... He is too tired to stand up, she's too sore to sit down! |
| Q: What's the grossest thing in the world? A: Waking up after a night of oral sex with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth! |
| A woman in labour cursing her husband. Hubby(calmly): Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to put it up your ass but you thought that might hurt. |
| A burglar came into bedroom, tied up husband and wife, kissed wife's ear and went to bathroom. Husband to Wife: "Satisfy him or he will kill us; Be strong, I love you." Wife: He didn't kiss me, he whispered in my ear that he's gay & needs Vaseline: And I told him it's in the bathroom. So be strong I love you, too! |
| A married man had 3 kids, He named them NC, MC and ABC. When asked what they meant, he said: Natural Curiosity, Mutual Consent and Absolute Bloody Carelessness! |
| Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand Stuff? New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new. |