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Marriage teaches you loyalty, patience, understanding...
And how to sleep on the edge of the bed! -
Police: Why did you call 100?
Santa: My wife went shopping and hasn't returned.
Police: That's not an emergency.
Santa: It is! She had my credit card! -
If you want to get married, marry your own girlfriend...
Otherwise, your family will find someone else's girlfriend for you! -
![Husband: Why are you always on your phone?<br />
Wife: Because it's the only way I can get intelligent conversation around here!]()
Upload to Facebook Husband: Why are you always on your phone?
Wife: Because it's the only way I can get intelligent conversation around here! -
![Balance is not something you find.<br />
It's something you create!]()
Upload to Facebook Balance is not something you find.
It's something you create! -
![Grades don't measure intelligence and age doesn't define maturity!]()
Upload to Facebook Grades don't measure intelligence and age doesn't define maturity! -
![Politics:<br />
(n.) Poli (Many)+Tics (Bloodsucking Creatures) = Many Bloodsucking Creatures]()
Upload to Facebook Politics:
(n.) Poli (Many)+Tics (Bloodsucking Creatures) = Many Bloodsucking Creatures -
![Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.<br />
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.<br />
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.<br />
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving!]()
Upload to Facebook Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving! -
![My fitness instructor wants me to touch my toes.<br />
But I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet!]()
Upload to Facebook My fitness instructor wants me to touch my toes.
But I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet! -
![Life is ironic.<br />
It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence!]()
Upload to Facebook Life is ironic.
It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence!
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